Definition Of A Hug

Dear Mr. Webster,

Earlier today, I was writing a piece in tribute to a friend that was taken from us way too soon.

Like countless times before, I turned to your esteemed book for inspiration and guidance. 

On this particular occasion I was looking for the definition of the word "hug" and I was aghast at what I found. 

The definition you have provided claims that a hug is, "an act of holding someone tightly in one's arms, typically to express affection."

Excuse my French sir but that is absolute applesauce and I reserve the right to contest. 

Mr. Webster, if I may...

While I understand the immense pressure you must endure to recurrently add something of value and substance to your book, I cannot and will not condone the morally irreprehensible and dare I say, heinous disservice you have done to one of the most important human gestures known to man.

Shame on you sir.

There aren't enough words in the English language, let alone, any language to communicate the essence of what a hug is. There aren't enough adjectives to describe what it feels like to get a hug or what it feels like to give one.

It is irresponsible of you, at best, to think you can just toss definitions around like NY JETS Hall of Fame quarterback, Joe Namath would toss a football.

And you sir, are no Joe Namath. I would argue that you aren't even Chad Pennington.

I have taken this opportunity to petition you on record.

I believe it is of tantamount importance for you to modify and re-calibrate, with the utmost urgency, the existing definition of the word hug before it does any irreparable damage. If it hasn't so already.

A hug is cultivated from a person's soul.

It captures and contains the uncontainable.

It radiates a warmth contested not even by the brightest star in the universe.

When a hug is deployed and executed with a certain precision, it can transfer the undeniable equivalent of another unexplainable phenomenon.


It is with the utmost respect that I implore you to eradicate all existing words, phrases and / or expressions that can currently be found in any past, present and future editions of your once prestigious book.

In lieu of the current definition, I am proposing something so undeniably synonymous with the word, that it is virtually impossible to deny its true meaning and intention. 

With all that being said, I humbly present to you the following submission...

Rest easy my friend. Your hugs might only be a small part of the immeasurable legacy you leave behind, but they are 100% my favorite part. With love, respect and of course, hugs...

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